Just For Today, I think I’ll Stay Clean by Ashley N.

On April 6th, 2017, posted in: recovery by

life on life 311 years ago I went to treatment.  11 years ago I didn’t know what the hell I was getting myself into, but what I did know was that I needed help to stop using drugs.  What has transpired over the last decade has been nothing short of a miracle.
I could write a book about the ups and downs of recovery.  I am sure we all feel that way.  No one ever said this would be easy, but a lot of people said it would be simple.  I am grateful for the people who walked this road before me.  I am grateful that I “get to” go on this journey with others.  By myself, I would still be standing at the fork, wondering which way to go.

Every year on my anniversary I reflect on the past year.  Each time the memories are different. I have put myself through some serious crap over the years, but I wouldn’t change any of it today. Everyone I have met, every decision I have made, every action I took, has led me to this place.  And it’s a pretty damn good place.

I made a decision a long time ago that using was not an option for me, no matter what.  Not if my dog died, not if I got fired, not if I couldn’t get out of debt.  I simply took using out of the equation.  I forced myself to find other ways to cope.  One day at a time I learned how to live life on life’s terms, without the use of drugs.

Today is my anniversary.  I have been clean for 4,018 days.  I have a lot to be grateful for.  But if I forget where I came from, my clean date will change.  Just for today, I think I’ll stay clean.

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